An online life may mean no job

Being from a software background, I pretty much live on the net. I'm connected in multiple ways all hours.

But law enforcement officers are expected to live according to a set of standards. Depending on where you live, this could mean lots and it could mean nothing. But if you are late on a car payment, you must not be trustworthy. If you are not trustworthy, then you can't be trusted to be a cop.

That seems extreme, but it happens. Policies are written to protect the department and not the officer, which is why there of unions. But for those departments that don't have unions, you have an employee making more than minimum wage, but not really enough that either you don't have to work a second job or your significant other doesn't have to work, who has no recourse against the departments politics.

So if you post something about your brother being gay (my brother is not, in case he reads this! ;-), or your ex-wife and her intimate misdeeds with other men, you may lose your job. We take for granted the ability to talk to people anonymously on the web, or to be able to connect with long lost buddies, but being online is almost like being in church. Our words are sometimes so closely monitored that even talking online isn't worth it.

I've written cautions to LE officers before to be careful what they post as it could be career enders.

Where do we set that line for expecting perfection from humans, simply because they carry a piece of copper on their shirt?

Sometimes you don't like what you see

With all the fun that you can have with being a police officer and all the good you can affect in society, there are times when you see things you don't want to see.

I just had someone from HR where I work come up to me and tell me they saw me on tv. This wasn't as fun to hear as it was several years ago. In fact, someone recognized me on tv stuffing my face with samplers at a wine tasting event. It was great, because I remember that moment when I was putting the pastries down the hatch and turning only to be met with some guy with a large camera on his shoulder a lot closer to me than one would expect given, ya know, zoom lenses. So that's what came to mind when this person said they saw me on tv. They said they had to do a double take because they were surprise to see me there.

That was, until I asked why I was on tv and she said I was in uniform and it had to do with the boy that died.

I don't like remembering that event. It's one of those things that I try to block as part of me 'getting over it'.

It wasn't a horrible thing, in fact, I've seen a lot worse, usually having to do with suicide or with some type of death that hadn't been found in a while.

But I will never get that screenshot, for lack of better terms, out of my mind. Since the legal process is still moving on this one, I can't reveal much on this. I suppose to tv mention was about a next step in the charges / trial.

The story is basically this, an uncle and his wife have 11 year old nephew over. Nephew is found dead the next morning having just died (he was still warm when we got there). Uncle suggests maybe the boy got into some booze and drank too much. It came out that uncle and wife had been playing drinking games with the nephew the night before. Nephew ended up unresponsive the next morning (when we were called) and was taking by ambulance to the hospital where he was pronounced dead.

I recall showing up with my trainee. I wasn't the first responder, but I got there fast enough to be assigned to take charge of the crime scene perimeter. So I seized the opportunity to show the trainee how to do the crime scene, the crime scene log, etc. I had heard reports that the boy was most likely dead at this point. They were still working on him inside.

The snapshot happened when they got him on the stretcher and brought him outside. They really had no choice but to go through the entrance that I created, bringing the boy by me.

Funny thing, now that I try, I can't really remember his face, I can only remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach and how his face was tilted slightly to the side. But I remember him going by, knowing he did not make it, but they were still trying. It's a lot harder to give up when it's a child. It's a lot harder to get over it when it's a child.

There are times when we wish we could take back those snapshots that most people don't have to deal with.  I believe that is the burden that officers take on when they put on the shield. Not that we have to put up with people's garbage sometimes, but that we have to see the worst and have to live with those pictures forever.

Perhaps time is the only way to make those pictures fade.

Take a breath

The key to survival as an officer is always being prepared. There are many ways to do that, and some have been valuable to me in helping people outside of law enforcement. For instance, I was in my office one day and heard "help" from the hallway. It was odd and out of place and took me off guard, but being who I am, I jumped out of my chair and headed that way. Into the development room walks one of the developers, barely able to stand, asking us to call 911.

He was light headed and felt like he was going to faint. One of the developers called the front desk to call 911 (which was a mistake to be documented another time if I ever remember). I had this guy sit and then I went to the front to coordinate emergency services.

Needless to say, the ambulance was further away than Santa, so another programmer drove our victim to the hospital.

Now you may think this is about the gentleman who needed help, but it isn't. It's about the programmer who drove him to the hospital.

He came back a couple hours later and gave us an update. He was breathing hard stating he had never gone 90 in the area he did, and since I am not going to rat out a friend, we'll just say the speed limit was 30 mph.

I remember when I looked like him. The first time there was an emergency and I hit my lights and sirens and drove really fast only to be called at the last second. I remember the adrenaline rush and the hyperfocus on every little thing in my world at that time.

I also recalled having a rider that day (a citizen who rode with me for kicks). I couldn't get one sentence out without yawning after that. Some sentences suffered from two yawns. My body was drained, I had no energy, and no will to do anything. I was wiped.

This is one of the most dangerous things to deal with as a police officer, the adrenaline. Regardless of popular myths, not all cops are adrenaline junkies, and the ones who are have limits. I say this because if you think of any drug or mind / body altering substance (we are talking legal ones here), too much is a bad thing. Ever drink lots of pop without anything else? How about alcohol? Sure, in moderation it can be handled. But with I told you to drink a bottle of Vodka at least once an hour. 1 bottle would take several hours (or more) to get out of your system, so the effects just keep adding up, choking your liver into utter submission.

That's adrenaline for you. It's that fight or flight (or posture or submission, again, another post) feeling you get. I bet most people have experienced it, when someone has spoken to you in a challenging or angry manner, you feel your ears prick a little, or your throat fall into your chest, the pit of your stomach suck back, your face flush, teeth clench, or any other numerous symptoms.

This programmer was experiencing the adrenaline hangover. And it was humoring in the context that I felt like I was watching a teenager get drunk for the first time and suffer for his stupidity.

I have experienced many adrenaline hangovers. I'm a pro. I know what to do to avoid the "headache" after. It's called the hair of the dog...

Actually.. sorry, wrong analogy. It's really called autogenic breathing. I learned that in the academy way back when, and it was one of my most used techniques that I learned after. In fact, I used that technique more than I used my handcuffing skills.

It's a method of breathing to release stress and it has saved me on many occasions. Not from the stress of anger or the stress of the job, but for dealing with the adrenaline hangover.

The first applicable google result produced this (if you want to know more about it):

http://www.ways-to-manage-stress.net/autogenic-breathing.html

I highly recommend learning this, because we are all in those situations where we need to take a "breather". Really, it's one of the best tools on my belt.

The programmer that drove did well. He spent the next 30 minutes breathing and was able to recover (with practice, he probably could get it down to about 2 minutes). The programmer who initially needed help had low blood sugar and is also doing well. Just in case you were wondering.

A cop and a red light

I bet you have witnessed an officer at an intersection waiting for a red light to change only to see the officer turn his emergency lights on, go through the intersection, and turn them off on the other side.

No doubt you became very incensed and felt that the officer was being immoral for using his lights simply so he did not have to wait until the light turned green.

I know this, because I have had many people come to me and tell me how much that bothers them. And it would bother me too, were I not to have known the entire story.

Let's get one thing out of the way really quick, and I will be repeating this frequently. No population exists without it's sample of dumbasses. As well, no population exists without it's upper echelon. The police force is no different. You will inevitably have encountered or know someone who has encountered a dumb cop.

So, for me to say that no cop in the history of coppinghood has ever turned on his lights simply because he didn't want to wait for a light, would be ludicrous and definitely speak at the detriment of my veracity.

But, keeping that in mind, I know more good cops than bad cops. Like most populations, the majority of cops are good and try hard, bearing through the bad publicity brought to them by the dumbass few who can't seem to keep their foot out of their mouths and their heads out of their sleeves. Generally speaking, cops are good people (I'll talk about the statistics of good cops in another post).

So here is the side of the story. Remember the one from many paragraphs ago when you saw the cop use emergency equipment because he didn't want to wait for a light? I know this because I have turned on my lights many times to go through an intersection only to turn them off on the next block. Several dozen in fact. And not one time was I being impatient, as I hope you will see.

Here is an annotated transcript of what happened in the police car (from Officer Tim's perspective):

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Officer Handy: 345, car stop. Officers initiation of a car stop

Dispatch: 345, go ahead.

Officer Handy: Lincoln Mary Adam 435 Lincoln Mary Adam 435 at 10th and Main on a Red Ford F150The officer reads the license plate, location of the stop, and a vehicle description.

Dispatch: 1453 Some departments read off the time instead of saying "over and out"

5 minutes later

Dispatch: 345 status check

Officer Handy:

Officer Tim: Tim probably doesn't even hear this radio traffic as they learn to filter out anything not beginning with there number

10 seconds later

Dispatch: 345 status check

Officer Handy:

Officer Tim: Has just heard two unanswered status checks and his brain then registers the traffic. Officer Handy probably forgot to turn on or turn up his portable radio when he exited the car.

10 seconds later

Dispatch: 345 status check A tone is a single pitch note blared through the radio system to get someone's attention.

Officer Handy:

Officer Tim: Just pulled up to a red light and is starting to get worried, because normally, if the officer's portable radio is turned down, they will still hear the tone, turn the radio up, and respond. Officer Tim's heart starts pounding a little, because he knows what the possible situation is. He knows he has to assume the worst because that's how he has stayed alive so long on this job.

10 seconds later

Dispatch: Code 3, 10th and Main, Traffic stop, 345 is not answering his radio.

Officer Tim: Lights and sirens go on and he hits the gas because he may have just lost a buddy, a friend, a comrade and he is going to do anything possible so he does not have to go to his buddy's house, and tell Mrs. Handy that her husband died. Officer Tim keeps his action straight and sure, verifying the intersection is clear and proceeding as fast as the vehicle will go, though his blood pressure just increased drastically and his heart is racing.

5 seconds later

Officer Handy: I'm code 4. My portable was turned off.

Dispatch: Copy 345, code 4. All units disregard.

This is where Officer Tim turns off his lights after only 1/2 block because he is not justified in running emergency when there is none. He slows back to the speed limit and starts taking deep breaths because he was preparing for the worst, and now he has to bring himself back from that expectation to be ready for the call he was going to where a lady's $5 lawn ornament was stolen. After he regains his regular pulse, he calls Officer Handy on the phone, has a few choice words, in jest, and hangs up, silently glad that he still had his friend to call.

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The person in the car next to Officer Tim had no clue what just happened, except that Officer Tim was at the intersection, turned on his lights to get through the intersection, and turned them off on the other side.

I have been in Tim's situation many times and hope that reading this may change your perception of the Impatient Cop.

If you have any questions, comments, or stories, please feel free to comment!

Social Proctologist

And again, I say welcome to the records of my tenure as a social proctologist. For those lacking a literary funny bone, the means police officer.

I was a police officer for 2 years 4 months and 4 days before I went back to another love, which is software engineering.

I'd love to document my thoughts, feelings, and observations during my police tenure as well as my ongoing awareness of what is was to be a police officer.

Enjoy it. As well, if you have any questions you would like to ask, please feel free to let me know. My experience is that for every question asked, there were many who wanted the answer but were too scared to ask the question.